My Death and Rebirth into Unity Consciousness
“There is only one presence here — it is LOVE. God is love, which envelops all beings in a single feeling of unity. This sanctuary is filled with the presence of love. In Love, I live, I move, and I exist. Whoever enters here will feel the pure and holy Presence of Love.”
A Prelude to the Sacred: My Near-Death Initiation
Nine years ago, I crossed a threshold I wasn’t expecting—into the inky void space between life and death. After years of navigating severe chronic dis~ease and heightened sensitivity to EMFs, my body finally surrendered. What I would later come to understand as Lyme disease and parasite co-infections had weakened my liver and kidneys and even pressed into my meninges, pushing me to the brink. My body fell into a full-body seizure… and I hovered there, suspended at the edge of this world and the next. Yet even in that darkness, I found light… or perhaps it found me.
From that black, inky stillness, my spirit returned — and with it, an ancient remembering. Sitting in lotus, I began to chant the Sanskrit prayers my soul knew so well. A vibrant, radiant energy coursed through me, tracing the sacred rivers of my chakras and encircling me in a sphere of white light. I entered a dimension of pure energy — timeless, boundless — where everything pulsed with unconditional love.
This was the moment I understood: the divine isn't "out there." It lives within. The universe pulses inside each of us, and love is the current that connects all. That experience lit a flame in my heart — a vow to explore this inner cosmos and guide others to their own sacred remembrance.
The Call of the Jungle
It was this flame that led me to Costa Rica — initially for a yoga retreat, but destiny had more woven into its design. I met a shaman who emanated a frequency of profound peace and presence. Without knowing much about Ayahuasca, I said yes with my heart wide open. And I believe it was that openheartedness that allowed the plant spirit to welcome me so fully.
As the sacred space was consecrated with prayers and song, a shimmering sphere of protection was formed. I felt it immediately — we were held. Safe. Seen.
Surrendering to the Serpent of Light
After drinking the first cup, I expected to be catapulted into the white light once more — to return to the infinite brilliance of my near-death. But Ayahuasca is a wise grandmother, and she does not follow our expectations. I tried to force the light... but she gently whispered, Let go.
It wasn’t until I surrendered — fully, without resistance — that I began to feel her weaving through me. She was not the blinding sun. She was the moonlight dancing on sacred waters. Feminine. Subtle. Mysterious. She flowed through my meridians like a symphony of healing, guided by the shaman’s voice and the ancestral drumbeat of the Earth.
The Mirror of My Soul
The medicine became a mirror. A living river of memory that carried me through the tapestry of my life. I saw my choices, my patterns, my wounds. Grandmother took me to one of the deepest — a trauma I had buried, cloaked in shame. And with her loving gaze, she revealed the truth: It was never your fault. This too can become your strength.
As this revelation moved through me, the shaman lay beside me, drum in hand, and my body erupted into a sacred purge — tears as old as lifetimes rising from my bones. I felt energy unraveling, being released, purified by love.
Visitations from the Beyond
Then came the spirits. First, my grandfather — radiant as the sun. He held me like the child I once was, whispering: I’ve always been with you. You are never alone. And you’ve done nothing wrong. His presence was a balm, wrapping me in memories of blackberry pies, treehouses, and the sacred pulse of nature.
Then came Al — my beloved gymnastics coach, my second father, with the spark of Einstein and the heart of a sage. He danced in with joy, full of love and light. Of course you’re an angel, I smiled. An avid surfer, he taught me to ride life’s waves, and here he was again, reminding me: You’re doing beautifully. Keep going. I’m right here.
Becoming One with All
As the ceremony deepened, I dissolved into the infinite. Boundaries melted. I became the stars, the soil, the song. I was everything. And everything was me. This was Unity Consciousness — not a concept, but a living truth.
I saw the interconnectedness of all beings, how every action ripples through the whole. I understood that our wounds are invitations to return to love. That our shadows are initiations into power.
Rebirth
As dawn approached, I felt reborn. Lighter. Clearer. The illusions burned away, and beneath them, a deeper truth emerged: I am a vessel for divine love. I left that ceremony with a vow renewed — to serve as a mirror and a guide for others, to be a lighthouse in the dark, a voice that reminds: You are not broken. You are becoming.
This ceremony was not just a healing; it was a return. To self. To source. To love.
A Prayer for the Journey Ahead
To those walking through the fire, to those unraveling old stories, to those aching to remember who they are — may this story be a whisper from the other side, calling you home. You are not alone. You are never too far gone. You are sacred.
I walk with you.
In the light of the Grandmother.
In the love of our ancestors.
In the ever-expanding field of Unity Consciousness.
Integrating my Near Death Experience and Cosmic Journey Through Poetry…
There was a moment...
when my body surrendered
to the unknown.
A full-body seizure.
Darkness.
Void.
Stillness.
And in that stillness—
Light.
A light so ancient,
it remembered me
before I remembered myself.
I was not dying…
I was awakening.
From the edge of death,
I rose—
a current of white light spiraling through me,
chanting the language of the soul,
ancient prayers from a time before time.
My third eye opened…
and I saw
the fabric of the universe—
woven with threads of unconditional love.
That was the first door.
But it was in the jungles of Costa Rica
where the Grandmother opened the second.
Ayahuasca.
Sacred plant of the stars.
Whisperer of truth.
Bearer of light and shadow.
I drank her essence with an open heart.
No expectations—just surrender.
She did not come as the white light I had known.
She came as the moonlight,
dancing.
A serpent of medicine
weaving her way through me.
I saw…
my life.
My choices.
The moments that cracked me open.
She showed me the trauma I had buried.
She wrapped it in love.
She whispered…
It was never your fault.
And I wept.
Like a river finally given permission to flow.
The shaman sang…
the spirits came.
My grandfather…
a sun in human form.
He held me,
reminded me of the land,
of the trees,
of how I was made of earth and stars.
Then Al came—
my wild-haired angel,
my second father,
riding waves of light.
He smiled…
told me there was nothing to fear.
That he was always with me.
I became still.
And in that stillness—
I became everything.
Every breath.
Every being.
Every tree and tide and trembling heart.
Unity.
The illusion dissolved.
There were no others.
Only one infinite soul,
experiencing itself
through a thousand different faces.
I saw that love is the only truth.
That fear is the forgetting.
And that my wounds—
they were initiations.
Gateways to my becoming.
I returned from that night
not just healed…
but reborn.
No longer the girl who almost died—
but the woman who remembered
her power,
her purpose,
her divine light.
And now I walk this path
as a mirror,
a beacon,
a bridge—
for others to remember,
to awaken,
to rise.
So if you are listening…
and your soul is aching to remember…
Let this be your sign.
You are not broken.
You are becoming.
You are sacred.
And you are never, ever alone.
Welcome home, beloved.
